September 5, 2009

Letting things slide

When the mind is weak, make the body strong. The mind will follow and keep up. - Iron Wil from the Get Your Geek On podcast.

I have been feeling mentally overwhelmed lately, and more than a little down. I haven't been taking care of myself very well along the way. I have been leaning more on comfort food, and have all but stopped working out. As I have postulated previously, I need a definite running or biking event on the horizon or it is too easy to skip workouts. Turns out I was right.

From January to June, I was running three times a week, and getting on the bike at least once every other week. By the time of the marathon at the end of June, I was in pretty good shape physically. Two weeks later I rode the STP, not reaching my goal, but still riding 150 miles that first day.

In the last two months, I have run seven times and didn't get on the bike at all until this week. Four of the runs were during a week in July when I had set up a running schedule with a vague target at the end. Since money is tighter than ever, I hesitated to sign up for another half or full marathon. With no carrot or deadline 4 months out, I stopped lacing up my shoes in the evenings and hit the snooze button when I planned an early morning workout.

With my mind of jumble of thoughts, worry and anxiety, this is the exact time I should have been leaving it all on the side of the road. But I haven't. Depression is tricky that way. You can sense what would help pull yourself up, and you want more than anything to feel better again, but you are fighting feelings of apathy that seem to weigh down your heart and limbs to the point where you can't rise off the couch.

My weight has been relatively stable, but I know fat has replaced muscle in my makeup. I need to take care of myself better for many reasons, not the least of which was my little cancer scare this past month. I am doing what I can to work through the mental side of things, but I know getting myself moving physically would provide some relief. I need to find a way to shove myself out the door without a looming deadline of a marathon.

When the mind is weak, make the body strong.


tami said...

I hope your time in the great outdoors is helping with relaxing and mind clearing. Watch out for those negative voices, the positive ones are right behind them wanting to come to the forward and guide you.

Holly Linden said...

You are SO loved.