Quiet change of season

What passes for fall arrived last week. Unfortunately, fall does not come forth in a burst of colorfully changing leaves. Though there are trees that go bare in the winter, they are more unusual in the land of palm trees, and the leaves don't seem to go through the cycle of colors before falling to the ground. Fall comes in more quietly down here, and was really just signaled by a break in the heat.

After a month of temperatures that flirted and cracked triple digits, and nights spent sleeping on top of the covers with a fan blowing, there was suddenly a bit of chill in the air. Windows that were opened first thing in the morning to provide a little AC-less breeze were now closed, and blinds that shuttered the baking sun were now thrown open to let it in.

I was jolted awake the first fan-less morning. I had apparently turned up the volume on the alarm to compensate for the background whirring of the fan, and the loud music had me reflexively slapping at the alarm clock. I managed to hit the snooze button without remembering exactly where it was. As I rolled over, cursing the jarring start to the day, I realized I hadn't hit the snooze button in a very long time.

I never wake refreshed, and mornings are a struggle of frustration (how is it possible to feel worse than I did before getting some sleep!). Growing up, and for much of my adult life, the snooze bar was used heavily. Each push of the button gave me an extra ten minutes of sleep. Where I have to read for an hour in the evening just to get to sleep, in the morning I had no difficulty slipping into unconsciousness in repeated ten minute blocks. Each time I hit the snooze, I would be giving up something from my morning. "Bam - I don't need a full breakfast. I can grab and go. Smack - I can probably get to work without stopping for gas. Slap - I can get by without a shower and shave. Crack - aw hell, I'm late."

My clock was also set five or ten minutes fast to give me a bit of cushion, but even in my groggy stupor, I could do the math to figure out the real time. At some point, I realized how ridiculous this was. Yes, I was falling back asleep each time, but why not trade that for thirty minutes of uninterrupted sleep. I set my alarm clock to the correct time, and stopped using the snooze bar. Getting out of bed wasn't suddenly easier, but I did stop feeling foolish and lazy at the start of each day. Plus, I only had to hear the alarm once instead of four times.

For the past few years, I have been waking up before the alarm most mornings. For a while, it was Sierra's clicking nails as she paced the hardwood floors for her breakfast. It was frustrating to be robbed of the sleep I so desperately desired. Depending how early she was, sometimes I could make her lie down and go back to bed, but usually once she was up and around, so was I.

Now I am starting to wake on my own. She is usually awake before I am, but now stays in bed, resting her sore legs until she is sure I am up and ready to feed her. Though I am still very tired each morning, I have lost the ability to fall back asleep. Every time I roll over and see that I am awake a half hour early, I feel robbed, though now it is my own body doing the stealing.

For the past week or two, I have been getting up earlier than normal, before sunrise during the week. After feeding Sierra, we both walk outside so she can take care of business. The air is that perfect level of autumn briskness. Cool enough to clear out the sleepy cobwebs, but not so cold that I need to throw on a jacket.

It was back in the 80's again this week, so our break from the heat was short lived. The days may feel like summer again, but for a few quiet hours each morning, autumn show its cool face.

Out of the mouths of babes

I had a couple of amusing encounters with kids yesterday.

Kristy and I went out for some cheap drinks and nachos in Old Town. Old Town was one of the first neighborhoods in San Diego, and some of the remaining buildings date from as early as the 1820's. It is now a historical park and a local attraction.

The place was packed with tourists and locals alike, and lines led out the doors and into the streets at nearly every place. With waits running at least 30 to 40 minutes at nearly every restaurant, we backtracked to the Alamo. The Alamo is this cheaper, outdoor place where you walk up to a window to order your food and drinks. But they had heat lamps going, and we found an open table with a built-in firepit. Though not near the nicest place in Old Town, the lack of wait and nice view of the bustling street more than made up for it.

Parking is always at a premium anywhere in Old Town, and with the streets and restaurants filled with people, we lucked out  by pulling in just as someone was about to leave. There was a no-parking zone right behind the car, so I pulled up next to the red curb to wait for him to leave. A BMW right in front of him had his lights on as well, but seemed hemmed in and unable to move.

When the car pulled out, a cute five year old kid was leaning out of a back window of the BMW. He held up his hand asking  me not to pull into the spot that had just been vacated. As his Dad pulled back and forward to get better situated in the spot in front, the little boy smiled and moved his hand back and forth as if directing traffic. When the BMW was properly in place, he gave us the thumbs up to thank us for waiting. We both thought it was pretty damn cute, and when we got out, Kristy complimented him on what a good job he had done. We walked on into the crowd of people with a fresh smile.

Earlier in the day I had stopped into my local Starbucks for some afternoon caffeine. I had worked a ten hour shift with the caterer and had been up since 4:45am. When I was headed back out, I walked ahead of a mother with a stroller and a little girl by her side, all stopped in the lobby. I quickened my step so I could get to the door to hold it open for them. The mom looked up and said "Oh, thanks" and "Come on Honey" as they moved to the door.

The mom passed through first with her stroller, but the little girl slowed then stopped in front of me. She was probably three years old. She looked up at me with a serious but pleasant look and said, "You are such a nice boy." This was not prompted by the mom, who I don't think even heard it. The moment did more to boost me out of my sleepy haze than the caffeine would.

Kids today.

Spring forward, stay in bed

We spring forward and lose an hour of sleep tonight. I typically hate this day for its lost hour. Insomnia doesn't happen as often these days, but every morning still brings exhaustion, so every hour is precious. But this year, I am actually looking forward to losing the hour

I have tried multiple things to try to get a good night's sleep, and one habit that seemed to help for a while was to get up at roughly the same time each morning. Since I don't wake easily or on my own, that meant an alarm every morning, 365 days a year.

Years ago, my alarm clock was like an air raid siren. It would rattle the house, but I wouldn't hear it go off next to my head. Then there was the battle with the snooze alarm, giving myself an extra ten minutes with each smack of the hand. At some point I set the clock fast so I would scare myself awake and out of bed, but eventually I could do the groggy math in my head and it no longer worked.

At some point I made up my mind to stop using the snooze button. Even though I fell asleep between every ten minute interval, it wasn't the best sleep. I eventually decided to just get up when the alarm went off so I could get that extra, uninterrupted half hour. But I still need the alarm to jolt me awake.

No more.

Now I have an old, fidgety dog to wake me up every morning. I still set the alarm, but I am rarely around when it goes off. I could force her back to bed I suppose, but even though I am exhausted, I find it much more difficult to fall back asleep lately. It might be age, stress or some other new factor, but once I am pulled out of deep sleep, the best I can do is hover in that frustrating non-sleep limbo as she clicks back and forth across the floor.

After we set our clocks ahead an hour, sunrise will come after seven o'clock, instead of just past six. I am hoping that the extra hour before the world begins to brighten will keep Sierra from tap-tap-tapping on the floor so early.

A guy can dream.

Long Beach Marathon 2011

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Kristy and I stayed overnight with Sean and Marci. We had a lovely dinner with all of the night-before jitters and excitement. Like Christmas Eve, it is all part of the celebration. Unfortunately, Kristy and I had a pretty terrible night's sleep. Not that unusual for the night before, but Kristy felt like she didn't sleep at all.

Up at 4:15am and out the door by 5:00am to get to the start line in Long Beach. Arrived at 6:30am without any traffic hassles, and the ladies dropped us off near the start line before heading off to find a spot on the course. Sean and I stood in the Porta Pottie line for about 20 minutes, only to find no toilet paper. Half our business taken care of, we dashed to the start line in time for the Star Spangled Banner. We split into our separate corrals and wished each other luck.

It was a beautiful morning. I had run the course last year, but was still surprised at how scenic the course was. I wanted to stop to take photos of the water, the Queen Mary, the fire boat shooting a fountain of water, but we were here to run. As I said at the Carlsbad Marathon, there is nothing quite like palm trees at sunrise.

I loosely followed the 3:45 pacer through the winding streets. He was going a little faster than target pace, but it was not uncomfortable. They aim to get you to the finish line with two minutes to spare, and he had a one minute cushion in the first four miles.

At around mile 4, someone ran up next to me and said, "Hey Vegas" (I was wearing my Las Vegas Marathon shirt). It was the guy who was standing behind me in the Porta Pottie line that I had chatted with earlier. One of those crazy coincidental sightings in a crowd of 14,000 runners. Frank and I would chat off and on over the next 10 miles, and I saw him again in the crowd at the finish.

Kristy, Marci and the kids were a great support team. I saw them for the first time just before mile 7. Marci had a tambourine, the kids a cowbell, Kristy was on camera duty, and all were cheering loudly. I had just reached for my Shot Bloks, only to realize they had slipped out of my pocket somewhere. I asked Marci to grab the spare one I had in the car, and she passed it off like a baton at mile 11. They successfully navigated the closed streets to see us at three different points and still made it to the finish line before we did. I know it is hard supporting on race day, even without the 4:30am wake up call, and it makes all the difference. My running buddy Frank was a little jealous.

The course winds on or near the beach until mile 10 before heading inland. The half marathoners split off at mile 11, and the crowd thins significantly. We crossed the halfway mark a minute ahead of schedule for a 3:45 finish. The rolling hills start at around mile 14. They aren't on the map, but they are there. Much of the next ten miles is an out and back course, so you see runners headed toward the finish on the other side of the road.

At mile 17, the course heads onto the campus of California State University at Long Beach. The toughest hill of the course is on the campus, but so is the loudest crowd support. After climbing the first part of the hill, the road turns left and levels out for a stretch before turning back uphill. Even before you round the corner, you can hear the cheers. The students line the street on both sides, funneling the runners through a chute no more than ten feet wide. It is a wall of sound and energy that you can feel, and in a spot where you need it the most.

After leaving the campus, you head back on the road you came in on. The same unmentioned rolling hills are there, but somehow feel bigger on the way back out. This really broke me mentally last year, but knowing they were coming helped tremendously. For a period.

My stomach had started cramping back at mile 14, and my legs shortly thereafter. It became difficult to continue drinking, and I couldn't force myself to eat anything after mile 19. The cramping led to nausea, and the lack of food led to an energy crash. I began to lose the 3:45 pacer, but kept him in sight for a few miles. He was my rabbit to chase, but I would lose ground at each water station when I slowed to drink in what little fluids I could. I lost him completely around mile 24, and then it got ugly.

My legs were as tight as piano strings ready to snap, and it felt like the front of my stomach desperately wanted to push its way out the back. Last year I started slowing earlier, but this year I pressed harder. At mile 24 I was right on pace to finish at 3:45, but I could hold it no longer. I slowed and then walked for the first time at mile 25. A spectator focused in on me and told me to hang on, that I was almost there. I knew he meant well, but I was delirious, smoked, over the line.

When I walked by him he said, "Sean, I am giving you ten seconds to walk, and then you are going to run." I thought, "Ya buddy, not likely." Six or seven seconds later he yelled, "Sean, Run!" And somehow I did.

Well, shuffled probably. It was a death march, but I pressed as hard as I could. According to the web gizmo, 17 people passed me over the last two miles, but I passed 19. I walked once or twice over the next couple of miles, and mustered what I could for the finish. I saw the clock at the finish and tried to give it that extra .5%. It wasn't much, but it was all I had.

Last year was the worst I felt physically after a marathon finish. This year was even worse. I had felt like throwing up for miles, and wanted nothing more than to relieve the pressure. But my body would not unclench and I stumbled around weak and light headed. I later heard there was a medical tent nearby, but I walked by without seeing it. I grabbed a bottle of water and wandered into the finish area.

Sean found me just as I entered the public area, and I nearly fell against him. We made our way to the food area, and I bought a Coke. It had saved my bacon last year, a shot of sugar to a depleted system. I took a few sips but still felt on the edge of losing it. I wandered behind the food service van so I didn't throw up in the public area. I knelt on the ground, hand on the bumper, head down waiting for the wave to pass.

The gal who sold me the Coke saw me and brought over a glass of ice. The ice helped, but I stayed by the bumper for a while longer until I thought it was safe. I made it back to Sean after a few minutes, and the Coke lady took further pity on me and brought an ice cold cloth to put on my neck.

Marci and Kristy found us a few minutes later, and apparently I was still white as a sheet. I haven't seen pictures yet, but maybe I don't want to. They brought a cooler of drinks and food, and I tried to eat something with my second Coke. When I put a pretzel in my mouth, it felt like it sucked all the moisture out of my mouth. I just had to wait it out.

Which we did for a while, swapping stories of our days. The kids had some ice cream while the world stopped spinning in the wrong direction. I started to feel better, and walked around to get the blood flowing to my face again. Sean and I eventually made it to the beer garden for our free beer. The cold, carby liquid seemed to help.

I crossed the finish line in 3:47:44, a new personal best by about four and a half minutes. It was the hardest finish so far, but I feel proud of the way I pressed on through miles 14 to 24 when my body was rebelling. I had run focused, but still took the time to look around at the beautiful scenery and chat with other runners.

Kristy asked me on the drive home, "If you knew you would feel that bad at the finish, would you run the marathon again." A very good question.

I have lots of things to figure out over the next few days and months - what went wrong, what I can do to make sure it doesn't happen again. But the best answer I could give was that I had proven this time that I can push past those nagging voices that tell you to slow down or quit. I have proven that I can take it as far as my body will allow, and maybe a little farther. I don't need to prove anything, and next time I won't push it past that line again. Unless I was seconds away from a Boston Qualifier time, but that is still pretty far down the road at this point.

It was a beautiful day on a scenic course. I felt focused and in the moment. I ran strong but not with tunnel vision. I was blessed with angelic support by people I know and complete strangers. I had some of my strongest and weakest moments in the space of a few hours, and walked away with a new personal best.

Would I do it again? Yes. I plan to rewrite the ending, though.

There's a pill for that

There seems to be a quick-fix pill for nearly every problem these days. "Don't put down that bacon double cheeseburger, just take this pill and you will lose weight!" I assume that most of the American public have become skeptical of these miracle pills by now, but someone is clearly buying them.

I read about another one in the Seattle Times this morning. And they finally found one that made me go look it up - the Wake Up On Time Pill. I have mentioned repeatedly that sleep is an issue for me. Insomnia is frustrating enough, but more demoralizing problem is waking up every day tired. I never wake up thinking, "that was enough sleep". Doesn't matter if I slept seven, eight, nine or ten hours; I wake up tired, often exhausted.

From the article: (emphasis mine)

Wake Up On Time, a pill containing all natural ingredients in a delay-release coating. The pill is designed to boost energy levels and is made up of a blend of B vitamins, amino acids, guarana seed extract and Siberian ginseng...If taken at bedtime, the natural coating allows the ingredients to dissolve over seven to eight hours, and "wake you up when the alarm clock rings," Beggan said.

"It's more than a vitamin, it's time in a bottle because instead of hitting the snooze button over and over again, it allows you to bounce out of bed ready to go," Beggan said. "The product helps you to effortlessly wake right up in the morning feeling alert, happy, and ready for anything your demanding schedule throws at you."

The article continues:

The guarana seed extract is probably what gives the supplement its kick, since it has a high concentration of caffeine, said Louis E. Teichholz, chief and medical director of cardiac services and chief, division of complementary medicine program at Hackensack University Medical Center.

"I can't say whether it works or doesn't work, but if it does, it's probably from the guarana," Teichholz said. "If you're going to use it, I would recommend doing so with caution because the caffeine may cause higher blood pressure in people who already have high blood pressure and it could cause palpitations."

So it is basically a time released cup of coffee along with up to 1,667% of the recommended dose of B vitamins. I went to the site anyway to check it out, and found that they not only sell pills to help you wake up on time, but also:

• Stay Up All Day
• Sleep Tight All Night
• Light'n Up
• Loosen Up (not to be confused with Royal Flush)
• Don't Forget
• MenoPAUSE Chill Pills
• Stress FREE
• Wrinkle Remedy
• Go Away Gray
• As well as the generic Get Healthy

One stop shopping for miracle cures! It think I will stick with coffee. And at $1.50 a dose, I can get a good cup of coffee at Starbucks for less.

Daylight Savings

click to enlarge

It is one of the most magical evenings of the year. Through a slight of hand trick, we all get an extra hour of sleep. Sleep, magnificent sleep.

Unfortunately, no one clued in the baby or the pooch to the time change, so it just meant that I was up at 6:43am instead of 7:43am this Sunday morning.

Sacred time

"I've been told that the insomnia I've struggled with on and off for most of my life comes from drinking too much caffeine, or eating too much sugar. Or sleeping on a bed that's to soft, or too hard, or too flat. That I don't exercise enough, or that I exercise too much, or that I exercise the right amount but at the wrong time of day. Or that its the result of watching tv or using a computer right before I go to bed. But isn't that when everyone pokes around on the computer or watches tv?"

~ from the "Fear of Sleep" episode of This American Life.

I intentionally did not listen to the "Fear of Sleep" episode of This American Life until after the marathon. I have enough sleep issues on my own without listening to other people's struggles. I finally listened to the episode on the way back from Huntington Beach this afternoon. My brother was in L.A. for work, and we met somewhere in the middle for lunch and a walk on the pier. It was great seeing him, if only briefly.

Although This American Life is one of my favorite podcasts, it can be hit and miss as it covers such a wide variety of topics. Even within an episode, the strength of the different 'acts' can vary quite a bit. And that was true of this episode, but as a whole it did a good job of describing the fears, frustrations and damage connected with interrupted sleep. The first act is a great bit by Mike Birbiglia about sleepwalking. The third act was somewhat uneven, but it opens with the above snippet that helps characterize the frustrations with treating insomnia.

And all this talk of sleep got me thinking. Sleep is one of the few things we cannot live without, and even though it has been studied for hundreds of years, we still seem to have only the smallest understanding of it. It embraces us, nurtures us, comforts us, repairs us, and allows us to explore without consequence. It feels like the ultimate reward after the struggles and frustration of each day. It is the time when we are the most vulnerable, and we typically only share this safe harbor with the one we most trust.

And the more I thought about it, the more sleep began to feel like faith. And maybe a little slice of heaven here on earth. When you can get some sleep.

Order out of chaos

My mind works through association rather than logic or reason. When I run those miles over the roads there is all the while a stream of consciousness, a torrent of ideas, coursing through my brain. One idea after another goes hurtling past like so much white water. Giving me here and there a new insight, a new intuition, a new understanding. Each in turn soon replaced by yet another thought, still another idea.

At those times I can believe Erich Segal’s story of wanting to dash up to a house and ask for a pen and paper to write a thought down. For he knew as surely as I that the thought, however clear, would soon be forgotten. And since there is no logical progression, no amount of reasoning would bring it back.

~ George Sheehan - Running and Being

When I am out on the roads, thoughts rush through my mind in a similar fashion. Like a free-association exercise where no idea is a bad idea, the mind just throws them out in succession to see what sticks. It can be wonderful to watch how the mind moves from one thought to another, and it takes me to interesting places. Unfortunately, the thoughts don't always stick, and revelations get left at the side of the road.

I am battling insomnia again this week. I have been up past 3:00am the last few nights. Though I am physically tired, I just can't seem to find the off switch for my brain.

I usually read for an hour or so before turning off the light. This usually helps clear my mind so I can shut it down for the night. Lately, I have been having trouble keeping thoughts at bay even when I am reading. They feel like a multitude of hands tapping me on the shoulder while I am trying to concentrate. When the book is put down and the lights go out, the thoughts wash over me. Sometimes there is a particular issue weighing on me that won't go away quietly, but at others it is just a stream of thoughts pinging around from subject to unrelated subject.

When I land on something of value, I try to write it down to get it out of my head before it is pushed out by the next free-association. Getting it down on paper seems to help quiet the mind a bit. I do this during the day as well, because even when awake those "brilliant" thoughts don't always stick with me. For a while I carried a small notebook with me, but it wasn't always practical. I've ended up with thoughts written on the back of receipts and any other scrap of paper I can find.

What I ended up with was basically a hundred little post-it notes scattered between my truck, pockets and bedside. Not the best system and it only adds to the feeling of disarray. I needed a new system.

What I have been using for the past couple of months is a Microsoft program called OneNote. It is kind of a digital version of the notebook, but with lots of advantages over the paper version. Like a thousand little post-its, you can take random notes on the page. The advantage is now you can cut & paste, and drag & drop your random thoughts and put them in some order. Like a notebook, there are separate pages, sections and binders to help organize your thoughts. Notes can can also be marked with various tags so it is easy to find that random thought later on. And if you forget to tag it, a quick search can find that buried note.

It is also a great tool for research. You can take screen clippings from websites that are then pasted into OneNote. A hyperlink to the website is also attached to the clipping so you can refer back to the original article. In the past I had used browser bookmarks to stash interesting articles, but they have grown to a point where it is difficult to see them amid the clutter.

In addition to text and webshots, you can put drawings, pictures, tables and audio notes into your work pages. OneNote is also integrated with the other Office products as well. If you tag something as a task in OneNote, it pops up in Outlook to remind you. Once you mark it as complete, it is updated in both places. Like Word and Excel, there are probably more cool features than I will ever use.

So, how does this help me when I'm not in front of my computer? There's an app for that. OneNote also has a mobile version that I have on my phone. When a thought strikes, I can make a note of it before it disappears. When I sync/update my phone, the notes pop up in OneNote. As I have been struggling with insomnia lately, I have been keeping my phone by my bedside for those 3:00am deep thoughts (with the ringer off of course). As for when I'm out running, I may need to carry a pen to jot notes on my hand. The original Palm Pilot.

I am hoping that by using OneNote, I can reduce the physical and mental clutter in my life, and capture that epiphany when it happens. And get some sleep.


Not part of the Microsoft Office family? There is also a free online program called EverNote that sounds very similar.

I had a dream...

that I was running the same marathon a second day in a row. I guess some runners missed out the first day, and I decided to run it again. I was feeling great and finished strong (it was a dream after all).

And I was carrying a package. I can't even dream my way out of work.

And I woke up exhausted like I really had run the marathon. Seven more working days until Christmas, and stepping off of this treadmill.

It's not easy being chemical free

I can't sleep.

I have troubles with insomnia from time to time. It has been going on all week, and I can't seem to find the solution. During the day I am tired enough to feel sick to my stomach, but I still can't shut off the chatter in my head when I hit the sack. I generally resist turning to pills for the answer. I don't want to become dependent on chemicals to solve a problem that has a simpler solution.

I have pretty bad allergies, and I have relied on Allegra to get me through the worst months. When my insurance company stopped paying for the prescription (for a replacement that my doctor says works for 1% of the population), I looked to natural alternatives. I started rinsing my sinuses with saltwater. The theory is that you rinse away the irritants before your body has a chance to react. It isn't the most pleasant therapy, but it is pretty effective. I still had to turn to pills for a couple of weeks this year when the natural approach wasn't enough.

So back to sleep. I have turned to Tylenol PM the last couple of nights in hopes of a good night's sleep. I have used a half dose before, and it has been enough to muffle the chatter enough to drift off. Not this week. It is so frustrating to lie awake at night with random thoughts flying through your head, when you could so easily fall asleep at your desk during the day. If the chatter was worth listening to, it would be one thing. I'd get up and write down the solution to all the world's problems. But too often it is just bizarre segues between worry and random thoughts.

Then you turn to drugs, and it turns out drugs aren't the answer. So tonight - wine. No dependency problems there, right?

Quote of the Day

A light supper, a good night's sleep and a fine morning have often made a hero of the same man, who, by indigestion, a restless night and a rainy morning would have proved a coward.

- Lord Chesterfield, diplomat


Good night...

To nap or to run, that is the question

This week has been a tough one for sleep. I am having bouts of insomnia matched with early morning appointments for most of the week. I am tired every morning regardless of how many hours of shut eye I get, but there are definitely levels of fatigue. It is tough to think straight, much less lace up the shoes and head out the door when you're running on fumes.

Then I saw this post on Half-Fast: Go Away! Want Sleepy! He is having a similar lack of sleep problem this week. The title was enough to make me laugh, but here is a snippet of the post:

If I’m tired when I get home from work there’s little chance of me running and when I do get myself out the door my pace usually suffers. I guess there is something to be said for making sure you get enough sleep.

Back in the days when I was enjoying morning running (or more accurately enjoying not having to run after work) I didn’t have to be in the office until 8 or 8:30. Plenty of time to get in a run. Lately I’ve been getting to the office a lot earlier (so much for banker’s hours) and I frequently work from an office that is much farther from my house which means that if I wanted to get in a short run at my lumbering pace I’d need to wake up somewhere around 4am and as I’m sure you’re all painfully aware there is no such thing as 4am.

And the cupboard was bare

2:00 am, still can't sleep, I've been in bed for hours, can't shut off the brain. Time for the last resort - Tylenol PM.

Nope.

Maybe I just dreamed that we had some. Really flying through that book though.

Insomnia

Went to bed around 9:45pm, fell asleep around 1:30am. No real reason I can point to, my brain simply wouldn't shut off.

I tossed and turned for an hour, then got up to read my book for another hour or so. I typically read for about an hour before attempting sleep, and this generally clears my brain sufficiently of the days events so I can drift off shortly after turning out the light. I should have given up much sooner last night as it was clear I wasn't getting anywhere.

It is possible that the book I am reading has something to do with my inability to shut down. As it is dealing with politics and war at a time when our own election is only a week away, thoughts get stirred, tangents inspired.

I should probably start a fictional tale for bedtime reading so I can escape a bit. Of course the next book in the queue is The Grapes of Wrath which deals with the Great Depression. More late night connections may stirred.

Run. Drive. Sleep? Repeat.

That is the slogan of the Northwest Passage RAGNAR Relay we participated in this weekend. The brief description is - 12 runners, 189 miles, 30 hours 46 minutes, from Blaine to Langley Washinton. The longer description follows.

A few of us in our little running group picked up the brochure for the relay last year thinking it would be a fun challenge to put on the calendar. It sat in the back of our mind for a few months before we all committed to running it in 2008. We had 5 or 6 ready to sign up last fall and the plans started being put down on paper. Tami and Alyssa volunteered to be co-captains for the team. It was a good combination of organization and enthusiasm. Late 2007 and early 2008 would add a little extra meaning to the relay for us all.

As I have mentioned before, Alyssa found out she had breast cancer in December, and Tami found out she had a carcinoid tumor in January. Both co-captains find out they have cancer and beat it in the three months between committing to the relay and actually signing up. We discussed team names and decided to honor their successful fight by naming our team "I Will Survive". Gloria Gaynor would be played often. Below is our team shirt:


We needed 12 runners and 5 volunteers to make the relay happen. We started talking to friends and co-workers about the event, and found several people crazy enough to join us. Alyssa found our final two runners on the relay website. The husband and wife team of Erich and Amy were a great addition. We didn't get the chance to meet them until the day before the relay, but they fit right in from the start. The wife volunteered to drive our van, and Alyssa's boyfriend David volunteered to drive van #1.

An event of this undertaking took a little planning. We met a few times to go over logistics, van rentals, food, lodging and divvying up the different legs of the relay. The way the relay is set up is there are 12 runners running 3 legs each for a total of 36 legs. There are two vans with six runners each that work in shifts. Runner #1 runs his leg, hands the baton to runner #2, then hops in the van until his turn comes up again at leg #13. When runner #6 hands off to runner #7, van 2 takes over with its six runners. The runners in the inactive van have some time to find meals and hopefully sleep while the other runners are running their legs.

We had runners of varying ability so it took a little time to match our runners to the different legs of the relay. The total distance of the legs varied from 11.4 to 18.8 miles, and some were hillier than others. No one had an easy time of it, but we tried to match the stronger runners with the more difficult legs. A few of us also met a week before the relay to do two runs in one day, but beyond the two runners that had done this relay before, we really weren't sure what we were getting into.

We headed up to Blaine Thursday night to get the last bit of real sleep before the Friday morning start. We were up early to decorate the vans before heading to the start line.


There was a contest for the best van decoration, and we had hopes of winning. The starting times are staggered with the slower teams starting first. As we were one of those slower teams, we started at 9:00am.

We all headed to the start line to see Erich start the first leg of the relay. Van #2 (which I was in) didn't need to be at exchange #6 until about 3:00 in the afternoon. We went back to the hotel to check out and decorate our own van, then we did a little last minute shopping and had some breakfast. We headed to the exchange point at a park in Bellingham a little early to cheer other teams coming in. Todd was the first runner in our van and he took the baton from just a bit after 3:00. We would be on duty for the next 5 hours and 29 miles.

The average relay leg works out to be about 5.25 miles, but they varied from 2.9 miles to 8.5 miles in length. Todd and Wendy had shorter distances to start, but almost all of the climbing for this round. Todd led us through Fairhaven and out of Bellingham, Wendy went by Lake Padden, Dan ran past Lake Samish, my route took us back out toward the coast, Tami's took us closer to the Pacific before heading south, and Cherie's leg headed south ending at waters edge of Padilla Bay about an hour before sunset.

We were able to meet the runners in van #1 at the exchange point. One drawback of the relay is that you only get to see the runners in the other van (briefly) at the major exchange points. With 150 teams participating, the inactive vans are not allowed on the route because of the additional traffic it would cause. While there we found out that Amy, who was sick at the start, had taken a turn for the worse and needed to head home. She had completed her 8.3 mile first leg, but was in no shape to continue. Her other relay legs would need to be picked up by the other runners. Fortunately they were shorter, but it still meant bonus miles for Erich and Gary.

After seeing van #1 off, we headed straight to the next major exchange point to take a shower, have some dinner, and try to get some sleep. Sleep was going to be difficult because we only had three hours to do all the above. Some were able to grab some quick zzz's in the van. I stretched out on the grass, but was unable to get to sleep. Our volunteers Michelle and Cheryl were also working at this exchange point so we were able to see them and thank them in person.

We were back on duty at about 11:45pm Friday night. The relay goes on non-stop, so we would all have a chance to run in the dark. We had reflective vests on and a headlamp to partially light the way. We had a couple friends volunteer to ride their bikes to give us additional light and keep us company. David rode with the runners in van #1 and Brian kept us company in van #2.

It was a really cool experience to run in the middle of the night. My shift started at 3:15am and I was running a route into Anacortes. Looking at the route now it looks like I would have had some nice water views, but of course it was a bit dark for that. I also was concentrating on running a fast leg. I ran the fastest 4 miles I have ever run, averaging 7:49 minute miles. Even so, there was a runner who passed me easily. During this night shift, several of us were passed by runners on elite teams that started long after we did.

While your van is on duty, you drive the same route the runners are on. You end up leapfrogging them a couple of times, stopping to cheer them on and hand them some water or other aid if needed. We also tried to cheer on every runner that passed us by. Even when your not running it seems you are always on the move, checking the map, getting ready for or recovering from your run. On this night shift we needed to keep the cheering to a minimum so we wouldn't disturb the local residents trying to sleep, but we made an extra effort to watch for and encourage other runners without bike support.

Todd, Wendy and Tami all had longer legs this time around, and Todd and Tami's were very hilly to boot. Cherie finished off our second round by running across the Deception Pass Bridge. Wendy and I joined her in crossing the bridge, and it was a beautiful sight with a mix of moon and pre-dawn light.

We passed the baton to van #1 at 5:30 Saturday morning. After driving back toward Anacortes to drop Brian off, we again decided to head straight to the next major exchange. After stopping for gas (and a wrong turn diversion) we arrived at a school in Coupeville. After a shower I decided to skip breakfast in hopes of getting my first sleep since Thursday night. I found a mat in the gym and tried for a quick nap. Unfortunately the fire alarm went off two times, so I don't think I got any deep sleep. I think I was able to string together an hour to an hour and a half of shuteye.

We were back on duty at around 9:30 or so. I had created a sheet to predict when each runner would be taking off, but it really was just an estimate based on each runners past 10k and half marathon times. We were running a bit behind, but not too badly.

This set of legs took us south along Whidbey Island to the finish line in Langley. The temperature was rising, and there was still plenty of climbing to do. In exchange we were rewarded with some great water views. With the hotter temps and the fact that we were all running a bit low on energy, the van stopped a little more frequently to support the runner. We had squirt guns and iced towels to try to cool down each runner.

After seeing Cherie at mile one of her last relay leg, our van headed to the finish line to meet up with the runners in van #1. It is traditional that all the runners join up near the finish line so that they can all cross together with the final runner. Erich and I headed back on the route to run with Cherie as she trudged up her final climb. The finish line was a welcome site after nearly 31 hours on the road. We shared a few stories, talked to a couple other teams, and enjoyed a well-deserved slice of pizza and glass of beer.

It was a great experience and I would absolutely do it again. The event and route was very well organized, especially considering the distance covered and number of teams and runners involved. Every team we met on the road was very supportive and seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. If you are interested in seeing pictures, you can find ours here, Wendy's here, and Tami's here. Wendy and I will be putting a video together sometime in the next month, and I hope to be able to post them here as well.

Many thanks to:

Our volunteers: Cheryl, Michelle and Judy.
van #1: Erich, Kristin, Amy, Caitlin, Alyssa, Gary and David.
Van #2: Todd, Wendy, Dan, me, Tami, Cherie and the wife.

Insomnia

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.
- John Burroughs, essayist and naturalist

Maybe this is why I couldn't fall asleep last night

Science of sleep

There was an interesting piece called Science of Sleep on 60 minutes last night. We still don't know enough about what goes on while we sleep, and why it is so important to our survival. Several studies have shown the results of too little sleep though. There are effects that you might suspect. Diminished reactions, difficulty in concentrating and coordination problems. Like people who have consumed alcohol, sleep deprived people don't know just how impaired they are. You can't "train" yourself to do without sufficient sleep.

Memory is actually improved while you sleep. You will remember more of what you study the night before if you get some sleep, than if you pull an all-nighter for the test.

Some effects were not expected. The studies show a disconnect between the emotional part of our brain and the reasoning part of the brain in sleep deprived people. Similar disconnects are found in people with psychiatric disease.

Insufficient sleep can also contribute to obesity. A hormone called leptin is connected with feelings of hunger. Levels of leptin drop in sleep deprived people and they overeat.

In one of the studies a subject was allowed only four hours of sleep for six days. The subject was healthy in the beginning, but after just six days of limited sleep he had become pre-diabetic. Lack of sleep messes with the bodies ability to process sugar.

Really interesting stuff. The two parts are below. Each are about 12 or 13 minutes long.


Part 1



Part 2

Sunrise from the wrong end of the day

I'm battling with insomnia again. Sunday night/Monday morning I didn't get to sleep until 5:30a.m., a time when the wife was just getting out of bed. Tuesday night the zzz's didn't come until about 3:30a.m. I have this problem occasionally, but experience doesn't make it any less frustrating.

I just can't seem to turn off my brain sometimes. There may be a few important thoughts at the beginning, but it is the random stream of conscious tangents that are frustrating. Sometimes I try to trace back to see how I got there, and it is weird the connections your brain makes. I'd give you an example, but what kept me awake until 5:30a.m. clearly wasn't worth remembering the next day.

It is likely stress that sets me off. It is like my brain is saying "look at all these shiny images - pay no attention to your troubling thoughts." I am used to operating on limited sleep. I don't remember waking up and thinking "Ahh, that was just the right amount of sleep." I am tired every morning. A few more nights like this though, my body will be ready to switch to the graveyard shift.

I used the wee hours when I couldn't sleep to catch up on some reading. I was a day or two behind on my resolution to read the Bible. I am also reading another good book. It is called World Without End by Ken Follett. It is a related story to Pillars of the Earth. It is not quite a sequel as it takes place some two hundred years later, but is based in the same town and has some descendants from the original story. Pillars of the Earth is a brilliant story about the fictional town of Kingsbridge and the building of it's cathedral. Though fictional, the story uses actual British history as its background. Ken Follett does a great job of interweaving multiple story lines, and I think Pillars is his best work. At around 1,000 pages it is an investment of time but well worth it. The new one is of similar length and 200 pages in it is looking very good as well.

I have enjoyed book club so far, but the only frustration is not having time to read the stack of books on my shelf. I have around eight books waiting to be read, some that have been in the stack for a year. I read somewhere recently that when you choose a book to read, you are really choosing not to read thousands of other books.

All the books I'll never read. Another thought to keep me up at night.

I sometimes wish I was a morning person.

I hate getting up in the morning. Ideally I would get 10 hours of sleep each night, and my day would start around 10:00. This does not work with most of the rest of the world. When I was in construction, I was getting up at 6:00 most every morning, and it didn’t get any easier even after 7 years. It just didn’t match my body’s normal rhythm. This said, when I do get up at the crack of dawn, I enjoy being up that early. Seeing the sunrise, feeling the quiet of the world as it wakes – it is a real treat.

On my recent bike trip to Glacier, we were getting up very early to both beat the heat, and to try be off the roads when the traffic was at its worst. There were a few days where I was getting up at 4:00 am to break camp and get breakfast ready. Once on the road, though, the first few hours on the bike each morning were brilliant.


The problem is that I still couldn’t get to sleep before 11:00. I was sleep deprived from the beginning, and still the zzz’s wouldn’t come any earlier as the short nights piled up. It took me a number of days to catch up on sleep once I made it home. I suppose there are trade offs. I don’t pass out shortly after dinner. I don’t fall asleep in front of the TV. I get lots of reading done before I go to sleep. I just wish I could adjust my sleep schedule when life demands it.

Oh, and I kinda wish I could take naps.